He loves to tell you what a fantastic run he’s had.
HOW DARE YOU TALK ABOUT YOUR OWN RUN WHEN IT’S MY REST DAY?
Alcohol doesn’t affect him.
Oh it’s all fun and games on a Friday night when he suggests cracking open a bottle of wine before parkrun. And guess what? When your head is banging on the start line, he can’t tell he’s had a drink!
The bath is ALWAYS occupied.
Oh yes, go ahead dear, have a nice soak and use up all the hot water. My stress fracture can wait. Shall I make dinner while you’re in there?
He now owns more pairs of shoes than you.
How has this happened? Since when should he have more shoes or trainers than you? He hated running – and shoes – five minutes ago.
His pious eating habit.
Gone are the days you used to be allowed a takeaway on a Saturday night. Oh no, that’s far too unhealthy for him. Let’s have quinoa, mackerel and beetroot instead. IT’S SATURDAY NIGHT!
Early mornings are nothing to him.
Can anything possibly be more frustrating than waking up and he’s already out running? Why oh why? How did he get there before you? The sneak! And don’t worry, he won’t forget to remind you later, when it’s dark and cold outside and you still have to run.
Your food bill doubles.
It’s all about superfoods now – super expensive super foods. DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH AVACADOS AND CASHEW NUTS COST?
He beats your PB within two weeks of running.
When he first started running, you were encouraging, supportive and reassuring. You will get there, it just takes time. Not that much time apparently! How dare you steal my hard-earned 5K PB within two weeks of running?
He has an innate ability to talk and run at the same time!
Remember when you couldn’t get a word out of him? You can’t get enough now! He’s now a running dictionary. Why aren’t you chatting, dear? BECAUSE I’M GASPING FOR MY LIFE!
Your laundry basket is never empty.
He used to top up the laundry with a few shirts and undies. Now it’s all HIS tights, tops and base layers. Don’t worry, love, I’ll go to work in my pyjamas today.
Every run becomes a competition.
Those first few runs where you used to reassure him and tell him that everything will be ok were sweet. Bless him. Then it became a lovely hobby for the pair of you, perhaps you even stopped to take in the view. Then it got serious. You will not get to the top of that hill faster than me, and you will not beat your PB today if I haven’t!!